A Car, A Bar, Questions From Afar - E51

Clancy Denton  0:00  
I did take on the task of painting this week, which, again, I will make a public statement, I am not painting another room ever. Don't believe. I know there's nothing left to paint in this house. This is the loud quiet living the empty nest.

Rick Denton  0:14  
Welcome back, everyone. Episode 51 of the loud quiet. Thank you all for hanging out with us for season two, as we're learning what it means to be an empty nester the second time, not the second time around. It's still the same, but just with a little bit of knowledge. This time, like

Clancy Denton  0:30  
you said, it's our sophomore year, sophomore

Rick Denton  0:31  
year. We'll

Clancy Denton  0:32  
see how we do.

Rick Denton  0:34  
Okay, before we get in the episode, what was your Oh, I guess, because yours was a little different. But what was your favorite year of college? But you did two and two, so

Clancy Denton  0:48  
I don't know it's a hard question. I mean, I I enjoyed aspects of all of it. Yeah, I probably my junior, junior year I had some struggles, just uh academically senior year I'd met you, so then I So that was your best.

Rick Denton  1:17  
Well, I met you outside of school, so I have a safe place to answer that question. Yeah, I waffle between sophomore and junior year. There's really, something really cool about the sophomore year where you come back, you kind of, you know things you got it, and you also, you want to be back with your school friends. Freshman year, it's a lot of wanting to be back with your home friends and then, and I saw that in tegans eyes this time. Sometimes Junior comes by because just that say it's just the next one where you just, you're like, Man, I got this thing without the pressure that scene and the melancholy that senior year offers, that, yes, we got to go live real lives and but, and

Clancy Denton  1:59  
I guess if you're content, you know, because in high school, they say junior year is the hardest, because that's when you're getting ready to take all your tests and do everything and and I guess to some degree in college, if you know that you're going to be continuing on, you know that that summer again is kind of figuring out. Okay, I've got to start. You know, Tanner had to take the LSAT. He had to start applying to law schools, those kind of things. So, and Tegan will probably, if she continues down her path, be in the grad school boat as well. So, so I could see sophomore year being, you know, yeah, you're not scared like you were a freshman year. You have your group, hopefully, and so you're just kind of, you know, cruise and and I and we can see it, and Teagan, you know, she has a little more independence now that she's in an apartment, and those kind of things. I'm

Rick Denton  2:51  
glad you called some of that stuff about a junior year, because you're right that. And that's probably why I went straight to sophomore year, because it's still, you're sitting there sophomore year and the end isn't even something you're thinking junior year, you're starting to think about it, but sophomore year. So what all that intro, which, by the way, was completely unplanned, I just thought of it as we sat down, is this is going to be a great empty nest year. Oh, sorry. It

Clancy Denton  3:18  
is. It is fun because one of our friends who are also in our life group. You know, they just became empty nesters and and she's actually, I'm and I'm gonna tell her this when I see her, I'm really, actually proud of her, because she's putting out on Facebook. Okay, what did y'all do? What did people do? We're thinking about doing this. And they kind of did what we did our first weekend, they went and did some things that they haven't done before. And, you know, I felt like that was important for us to do too. And so I'm, I'm glad that. And again, like we asked my parents, you know, did you really think about it? Because they're just, it seems like there's just such a focus, maybe because I wonder if it has anything to do, like, is our group bigger than their group, you know, or, like, more?

Rick Denton  4:10  
You don't think so. Yeah, no, because the whole baby boom population population, well,

Clancy Denton  4:14  
but I just didn't know, because now that people are living longer, are they, you know, they were also younger age parents. I don't

Rick Denton  4:27  
know. I think it's just our generation likes to categorize things, and I'm

Clancy Denton  4:31  
sure social media has a lot to do with that, because it's all over social media. But anyways, and I

Rick Denton  4:35  
would tell folks, so you said you're really proud of them. You know, the number one tip is to listen and subscribe to the loud, quiet, so that's what I would offer.

Clancy Denton  4:42  
She actually called out in her Facebook post and said, Well, I'm learning from the trailblazers, so I don't know. All right, so

Rick Denton  4:55  
what are we talking about?

Clancy Denton  4:56  
Yeah, but here, but okay, so yeah, great, empty nest. What did. Do all day. Saturday, we were with Tanner, helping him do something I this week. You know, this was our first weekend, officially empty nester. Back to our empty nest life. I chose to start painting and redoing for a second.

Rick Denton  5:17  
You went all in. It's like, All right, so he's moved out. Room is gone. Room is different,

Clancy Denton  5:24  
because we always complain His room is so dark because he wanted this blue color, which is what was in here too. You know, His room was sports themed and so and it always just looks so dark when you look up there. And so I was like, You know what, let's refresh. It's time. He still has, you know, his same bed. I did order new bedding, but it's just it felt like it needed to be refreshed. He will not be back here much, except for random weekend, you know? So it's not like I changed it to a lounge or something. His bed is still there. He's still give me time. You have other rooms that you can pick from in this house. So, yes, so I was exhausted by Friday night, so didn't really want to go out, but we watched bike riders. Excellent movie. Actress name, no, but the acting is superb, especially the female lead.

Rick Denton  6:34  
That's sad, but yeah, she was great. And most of the names, well, because they were, most of these are unknown to us. Yes. I mean, we're not movie files to the deepest degree, but most of these folks are unknown. So

Clancy Denton  6:45  
Austin Butler is who they you know, that's why, halfway through the movie, I said he's had like, three lines, he was a major part of the movie, but he didn't have to memorize a lot of dialog. But I'm sure that they put him in the forefront, because people knew him from Elvis. So anyways, very good movie. So yes, we enjoyed that Friday night. And then why don't you talk about

Rick Denton  7:12  
so we had, we had said we were going to get Tanner a car for graduation, a very it's a common gift, and it was one that we were planning to do. And he had, over time, been kind of doing some of the purchasing activity. We'd advised him on it. And there's a particular way that I like to go about buying cars that involves the deal is done before you walk in the dealership. And with the with the internet and everything else, it's pretty easy. What's a little different now is inventory was a little light, and so that with travel, with law school, his pace wasn't quite what we would want. And there was also a a semi deadline of by the end of the month, because then we'd have to register his current car. So we're kind of hoping to save 100 bucks by not registering his car. And I in somewhere in the night, or even when I woke up. We kind of talked about, we hoped that we could get it done this Saturday. But somewhere I was like, okay, Saturday morning, I got up early. Did the walk get all and then at 830 was on the phone, and so he gave me the information overnight that he had pulled in. I started calling and all of that. And yes, Saturday was a day where we bought the car and I get more details.

Clancy Denton  8:21  
Well, yes, and that's what i Excuse me. I was in the garage working out because I knew I couldn't do my Long Walk Run, and so, because I I thought that maybe we would be able to start doing something. Yes, we were. We were planning on going to his place anyways. But when I walked back in the door at 915 and I hear you on the phone with him. I was like, why is he up at night? Why is Tanner up at 915 I know you, but as I was just going, he's already up and ready and and, you know, again, this is, this is a empty nesters. It's not really a tip, but we just felt like, you want your adult children to be able to do adult things. Buying a car is probably one of the people hate buying cars. You know, it's just, it's,

Rick Denton  9:14  
it is not set up for customer friendly process. Yes, right? It's hard, and

Clancy Denton  9:20  
apologies if anyone works in the car industry, but it is. It's just scary. It's it's a scary thing to do for the first time.

Rick Denton  9:30  
There's an imbalance of information more dramatically in the car purchasing process and probably anything else, you don't really know the value. You don't really know what the cost should be. So you go in with a horrible lack of information, and it's hard going into the process. And

Clancy Denton  9:45  
we are not in a culture who likes to bargain. We don't. We don't do like I don't go into the grocery store say, Oh no, I'll give you $2 for these bananas instead of 375 you know, that's just not. Our culture. Now, when you're buying a house, you go back and forth, you know, it's just, but it's just the car is just a different animal. So, you know, we felt like Tanner kept saying, I want to do it. I want to do it. But I finally told you, I said, Look, just I think we need to be a little more forward with him, because we

Rick Denton  10:25  
kept saying phrases like, Hey, I'm here to help you when you're ready. Because we didn't want to. He wanted our adult child to do adult things like you said, and it's okay even let's take the child out of it. As adults, we realize that sometimes we need help from other adults. And so I think it's sort of that mentality of, wait a second. He's never done this before, and he's trying, but this is a time to no longer say, Hey, how can I help? But rather, hey, today's the day we're doing it. And part of it too is, I'll try to be real brief here, but you know the way I go about this, and this is a tip that I think, if you're listening, and maybe all of you all do this as well, but I just You go online and see what the current inventory is, and I know that's flexible and fluid, whatever. And you email, if you get the internet manager, great, or just email, but you never get on the phone until you get a price, with the window sticker, a price and the detail. And then, like yesterday, we got down to two dealerships, two prices. One was $4,000 higher than the other, and he came back and dropped it by $4,500 and so just with and we'd never left our home and showered yet, right? And so all of that. And so I think sending Tanner down that path when he's already busy with law school, when we interrupted it with a trip and all that, he didn't get the progress that one could get when you're just today is my day where I'm going to do that, and that's what we did on Saturday.

Clancy Denton  11:54  
And I think you said a good thing. It comes down to experience when you said, you know, sometimes you ask other people, other peers, for you know, we've been getting texts about we've all been switching our internet provider, you know. And everyone's been talking about experiences just like the thing I just talked about at the top of the show, asking for advice on what should we you know? So I don't think, I think it's just as our kids become adults, they want to feel like they can do the things that they want, but and they don't want to ask for the help. So sometimes we still need to be more aggressive with Yes, offering that help in a more understood way,

Rick Denton  12:46  
and that's as it like, so that you're talking about the kids side of it, as we as empty nesters are trying to find that balance as well, because our appetite or desire both because you want your kids to to grow, to thrive, and because You're like, I already lived my life, I don't need to live theirs, that is a tension that you're where do I? Where do I stay as a coach? Where do I stay as an advisor, even if they aren't asking me for my advice, but I've got the experience. Where do you and a car is a relatively safe one, right? It gets a lot more difficult when we're talking about relationships. About relationships, spouses and kids, right? So it it, we're learning it too as we go along.

Clancy Denton  13:27  
And again, it was one of those things that it was just hanging out here, hanging out here, and as I have talked about, I like everything in a box with a bow on the shelf. So we got his box, his car in his box with a bow. So, yeah, his new car.

Rick Denton  13:48  
So we got a Civic Hatchback. I never would have wanted a civic, but they went through a redesign a couple years ago. This is a perfect car. Oh yeah. I said it to you as I was like, I kind of like this car

Clancy Denton  13:59  
and and for those of you, I don't know if we've talked about the Cosby Show, but Tanner followed the dress like,

I don't care what you wore, but I was like, What do you have on?

Rick Denton  14:18  
And it turns out it was a Japan

Clancy Denton  14:22  
like, one from something that had nothing to do and, you know, old referee shorts and Berks that are so

Rick Denton  14:29  
that may be. Why, when we went in and said, okay, that I love the deal that we have, can you do a little better? Yeah,

Clancy Denton  14:37  
okay, I'm sure. But I will say, Man, that place was hopping. There were, there were people buying cars, left and right, I mean, and we just haven't, because my car, we just ordered and designed, and it was, hey, it's here. Come get it. You know, wasn't and, but, I mean. That place was packed yesterday. Well,

Rick Denton  15:01  
I bought a vehicle for 24 years. Yeah, I don't know the process,

Clancy Denton  15:05  
but you bought several of mine. So, but the, I mean, even our sales guy was doing two deals at the same time. And great, great customer service. Everything was very Yeah, it

Rick Denton  15:17  
is, I will say this, so yes, it's still in in spite of we had everything nailed down before we showed up, it is where time goes to Oh yes. And so here's a tip. Pack water, pack snacks and pack entertainment. We were watching Tay and I were watching the Georgia Tech, Florida State football game, because there were moments where you just sit and kind of like a medical office, you also have to advocate for yourself. There was a time that we were sitting longer than it seemed, and so that's when it was all right, yeah, we're moving to the next phase, whether y'all are ready for us or not. And

Clancy Denton  15:52  
I even made the comment, for those of you who are friends people, I would say I was like, I'm sitting here with my credit card and I'm bored. You're like, I got the check. Let me write the check. Let's go and we even, you know, but this car had literally rolled off the truck that morning. It had four miles. Oh, it had two miles. That's right after Tanner

Rick Denton  16:16  
drove. It drove off the truck,

Clancy Denton  16:18  
yeah, into the bay, yes,

Rick Denton  16:22  
for Tanner to do his so I had it Clancy is not exaggerating when could, because we went there to see one. We knew they had two. And the dude was they were two identical vehicles, and the other family had started working on the other one. So he's like, Yeah, I got the one that just rolled off the truck. We're like, what? No, no, really, it just came off the truck today, so

Clancy Denton  16:42  
it had a few things that were upgrades that it needed to go through. So we're sitting there, and you know. Then he said, Well, you know, it may not be ready today. And I was like, Really, don't want Tanner to have to drive back over to grapevine to come get this car. And, you know, so he said, Oh no, no. Okay, well, I'm going to talk to my manager. We'll have it done by five, so it like it was three o'clock. And he said, Hey, it's done. I just need to run it through the detail and put gas in it. And he said, you know, 2030 minutes and y'all were and y'all like, Okay, we'll stay. I looked at him and said, Is this really going to be 20 or 30 minutes? Because I'm starving, so we left to go eat lunch. Let's go get a little which, you know, it was actually kind of a fun day yesterday, because we were in Grapevine, which we haven't been over there since we lived over in Flower Mound. And so I found some local bar and grill. And, I mean, we looked, I mean, you could tell everyone knew every I said, Oh, we're like, at cheers, because everyone came in and people were like, Oh, hey, what's going on? And, yeah,

Rick Denton  17:48  
the name was orange. I

Clancy Denton  17:50  
want to say that because, yeah, the burgers were great. Nachos were good, if you're over there in Grapevine, prices were good. You,

Rick Denton  17:58  
yeah, well, you and I really, we strive to find the place that isn't the chain. Sometimes the chain makes sense. It's okay. I'm not anti chain. Well, maybe I am, but we do, I

Clancy Denton  18:10  
don't know. We did do Chili's not this weekend.

Rick Denton  18:16  
And so that if you're gonna do the adventure, adventure air quotes for those that are just listening adventure out to graven, well, do something different, yeah. And there you go. There's the empty nest. If you're going to do something, do something different,

Clancy Denton  18:29  
yes. And then we, I love the independent places, you know. And we'll get to that in a minute. But so by the time we got back to Tanner's apartment, yeah, it was 530 we were supposed to hang his diploma and do all this stuff, and he had plans to come. So we just were like, No, we don't. I didn't think about

Rick Denton  18:56  
it until just now. It's like, George, well, Costanza, because we've got the dealership right, of course, the dealership. Episode, no, no, don't do it. So go watch the dealership. Episode, Seinfeld, if you want to how George does the leave behind so that he has an excuse to go back? So did we actually do the leave behind the diploma so that we have an excuse to go back to Tanner's.

Clancy Denton  19:21  
I don't think we need an excuse, but I was at least glad to see you know, it looks like someone lives there, but it was not just totally junked out crazy,

Rick Denton  19:32  
like his bedroom here over summer, or what we believe his college apartments do have looked like as well based off of some pictures,

Clancy Denton  19:39  
yeah, except it's just one person instead of four. But so, so yes, so then you and I left and, well, we were left because

Rick Denton  19:48  
I needed to go to the liquor store. That's the whiskey that I can get

Clancy Denton  19:52  
the seagulls, seagulls, liquor store that we went to, still there. I. I'm

Rick Denton  20:00  
sure that folks are probably tired of hearing this, but I cannot get over how it is every single time we go down there. It is flashbacks. It is just to drive on shady Brook, to be on Southwestern Boulevard, to drive by Snyder Plaza, all the things that were just part of life, or now the seagulls and hearing

Clancy Denton  20:21  
Tanner talk about these places that, you know they they had a social, a law school social, Friday night, and then he went to some bars on Knox Henderson. And he said, you know the kid, some of the kids that he's met and are with grew up in Dallas or went to SMU. And so they're like, oh, yeah, okay, let's head over to the KNOX Henderson bars. And Tanner's like, I don't know, and he said it is so confusing over there. And you and I are both like, yeah, it even, you know, we spend a lot of time over there, but it's just, it's confusing because the streets aren't grid, like he's used to out here. And you're, all of a sudden, you're on this, and then you're on, yeah, so

Rick Denton  21:05  
Well, could be in Phoenix is, I mean, pure record. He's gonna

Clancy Denton  21:08  
expose some to some of the things that we did when we so it's fun. We enjoy being down there. And so when we left after we went to seagulls, then we you said, oh, let's, let's try in Inwood tower, which we never went to when we were down there. It's been down there for a long time. 65

Rick Denton  21:30  
we saw on the door. And I didn't I, we talked about that. I didn't know that Inwood and love, sorry for those that aren't in the area, but in wooden lovers is an area that has a lot of retail, shopping, dining, and I didn't do a lot there, like you said, in our 20s, but I remember one time going through there on the way to love field, when the Tollway was back to looking around, going, Wait, what's all that? And seeing Inwood tavern, and thought, that looks kind of cool. We need to go there sometime. Years and years past, we finally go. And I

Clancy Denton  21:58  
loved the juxtaposition of this bar. And this is the bar, if you're golf people, Scotty shuffler went to the morning after he won the masters. So I'm sure he frequents, as you know, a young adult. But to

Rick Denton  22:14  
be clear, that is not what motivated. No, no, no, no. We wanted to go there before that story. It is though that one, yeah, he went.

Clancy Denton  22:21  
So, you know, we pulled up and front row parking, which was awesome. I could

Rick Denton  22:29  
stand you again. Look at my party. Look at this parking space. We were never leaving,

Clancy Denton  22:34  
and so there was an Uber in front of us, and all these women, probably, you know, a little younger than me. Got out and they were all on these nice dresses, and I'm sitting there going, what kind of place are we about to walk into? Then we realized they were going into the sushi place. But I did. I loved the juxtaposition of this bar because it was gritty. But then they have chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. The bathrooms were spectacular. Yeah. I mean, it was red solo cups. I was like, do you get your drink in a red solo cup, water or if you're doing gin and tonic?

Rick Denton  23:13  
So it was one of the most friendly places. Oh, yeah, bartender and find a place to sit, or that kind of thing. And then it cleared out a bit, because apparently there was a big party that was there. You could tell us a place that is neighborhood, it is local. I what we couldn't tell us it didn't give the stereotypical. And I want to be fair to folks that do live in the park cities, not everyone fits the stereotype. It didn't have the park City's vibe, and yet, that's where it was, yeah,

Clancy Denton  23:39  
well, no, I actually looked at you, and I said, we look more Park Cities than anyone in here, which I love, because there's some times when we go down to some of those places that I'm like, you know, I don't have a dream and I don't want to, yeah, and so I loved this bar, like, if we lived down there, that would be our bar that We would go to. It was awesome. Casey, the bartender was excellent. It was just fun. Sheep, oh,

Rick Denton  24:09  
so He hands the bill at the end, and I said, is that it because I'd had, we'd had two martinis and a gin and tonic, and not each to be clear, and the bill was $21 and that's the price of a mark less than a price of a martini at Fleming's. And

Clancy Denton  24:31  
what I loved is that, I mean, he came up, he wanted to talk to us like he talked to us quite a bit. And, you know, he wasn't. He was asking about Tanner and being in law school, and he asked where he did his undergrad. And I love when he's like, Ooh, is that tough for him, going from ASU to SMU, like party school to and I told him, I said, Tanner brings the party with him. And I said Tanner had told us. He said, this week, people. Are like, you're just so social. Because Tanner is the type of kid if you know him, or if you don't, we've talked about it. He said, you know, clicks already for me. We said, I don't do that. He said, I have friends in all of the groups. And he said, people were like, how do you already know people and that person and that person? And Tanner said, because I go and talk to different people, he said, I don't need to be pigeonholed into one group. There's different things that I like about each of the groups, and that is one thing that both of our kids have shown and I do really appreciate that about them. So it was fun just, you know, this bartender. He was like, Oh, I know, you know the SMU bars that the law skill sponsors, and so it was just, it was fun being down in that environment and having connections, even though we don't live anywhere down there.

Rick Denton  25:55  
Well, the story you tell of where it's like, Was it hard to go from ASU to SMU? He didn't explain his thinking. At first, I thought he was saying, you know, just to change an environment. That's where I started to say, oh, no, we're from here. He grew up in Frisco, and that's why he said, Well, no, I mean from a party school. Yeah.

Clancy Denton  26:15  
And again, like I have said, every time any school is a party school, it could because Tanner had friends that were sober at ASU. I mean, it's just, if you want to make your school a party school, it will be a party school for you. You know, it's just what, there's

Rick Denton  26:34  
like a dozen that are rolling through my head that like, no, those definitely are, but I'm not going to name them, but I know our kids go

Clancy Denton  26:41  
to two of them. I mean, your general point is true. So that was just, it was just fun. And, yeah, we had a really, you know, good time. And, you know, you were like, do you want to stay for another and I was like, it's almost eight o'clock. No, we need to, yeah. And I didn't really, you know, we needed to head back. And that's,

Rick Denton  27:01  
I think it shows, well, I don't know that you put this text on there, but you had sent to Tanner, you know, where our feelings about like, we thought, this place is great, and then, oh yeah, we're back in the boring. Oh,

Clancy Denton  27:14  
well, no, that's what I didn't Well, I didn't text him that. But yes, as we, you know, driving back, we've eaten lunch so late that we didn't want dinner. And so we're like, well, let's get some dessert. And so we went to an ice cream place in Frisco, which is really good. But as we were driving there, I was like, Oh, we're back to the boring suburbs of Dallas, which, you know, you know, I

Rick Denton  27:42  
did, yes, it was nice to be on roads that were actually

Clancy Denton  27:48  
wider lane, corner lanes, there were

Rick Denton  27:51  
parking spaces. Yeah, so there's, there's pros and cons, I think is we do really enjoy our I guess, for now, it's sort of fantasy, trips into the unique, the more unique world of the closer to the inner part of the city versus the suburbs. But there's a lot to being out here too.

Clancy Denton  28:09  
Yes, great place to raise your kids, great place to have a family. But I think you and I are just, we've talked about it. We're just itching for something different.

Rick Denton  28:18  
Can I go back? You said something about the kids, and it is true of both of our kids that they do such a good job of they don't care about which group. And I'm thinking, like, Tanner specifically, he's like, Oh, I found all the EDM kids. But then he also, you know, has met the kids from the private schools, the URS Alliance and all that kind of stuff. There's probably crossover in that world. But he just his his category is just, are you human? And therefore I want to be friend with human. There's a lesson for us in that, as well as empty nesters, that as we've gotten older, and not just you, me, we but the wider category of empty nesters, you get to where you kind of know what you like and what you don't like, well that starts to narrow down your opportunity to meet and engage and that sort of stuff. And I think that's part of and I don't mean in a say, like a judgy or, I'm not talking about, ooh, somebody's bad, but just that's just not who I am kind of thing. No, no. It's if that's an activity that sounds interesting, well, let's try that activity. Or that's a person that is into something else, well, let's, I need to learn a little bit more about what they're into. That openness of the kids could be a role model or an inspiration to me, to us, to the wider empty nest, to just widen those perspectives a bit.

Clancy Denton  29:30  
Yeah, that's a good, very good point. And yeah, I again, like I said, I love that about both of our kids and and I hope as parents, you know, we have instilled that in them in some way, even though we even though we may not have been that way or I mean, I was, I did have different groups of people, and you probably did

Rick Denton  29:57  
too. I just mean, as you age, you just kind of. Exactly, that's what. Maybe that's not the judge your comfort. And

Clancy Denton  30:03  
that's what I'm saying, is that, you know, we're probably not like that as much as we used to be, although we have been. I mean, you know, like we were just driving yesterday, and you're like, Hey, do you want to go check out in more, tap in, in wood tavern? I was like, okay, sure, you know. So we didn't know what we're walking into, Oh, totally, but right, you know, the place that R and j's are probably not people that we would hang out with, but maybe we should exactly yes, so, oh goodness, but yeah, it was, it was just a fun, good day that

Rick Denton  30:39  
got us to lots of things to enjoy, lots of things to learn from the idea of, you know, okay, how do you balance being a parent versus a coach versus just watch your your adult kid do what they do and learn from them on how to be, and

Clancy Denton  30:51  
getting to hear, you know, Tanner face to face tell us about his first week of law school and how exciting that was, and it but it was hilarious. So we were coming home from the ice cream store, and I got the alert on my phone, you know, Tanner's arrived home, which I was like, oh, to his apartment. And I was like, no, he's here. Because I forgot he was coming out here to meet up with some of his friends. We literally probably passed him on.

Rick Denton  31:19  
I think he was, he may have been, he probably was slowing down. Somebody was in the rearview mirror.

Clancy Denton  31:30  
So, you know. And we did offer, hey, come spend the night at home if you need to, but he ended up crashing at a friend's house or something. So, but, yeah, that was weird, seeing those alerts. Tanner arrived home. Tanner left home. It was just

Rick Denton  31:47  
interesting. Left home for good. Oh, don't

Clancy Denton  31:51  
say that. Well, okay, I don't want him to come back, but I want him to come back and visit so anyways. But yes, it was a fun you know, cars and bars, cars

Rick Denton  32:05  
and bars, but, um, he's not the only one that we're teaching some lessons to. Oh,

Clancy Denton  32:09  
yes. So as I did take on the task of painting this week, which, again, I will make a public statement I am not painting another room ever. Don't believe I know there's nothing left to paint in this house anyways, but so, you know I would be done five o'clock every night then do dinner. And so I would want to just sit well by about 738 o'clock our time, texts would start coming in from Tegan, about cooking, about just anything, which I'm glad she's reaching out to me. I love my child. You know she's my little buddy, but this was the text that I got from her. Where do I spray the blue juice in the dishwasher. So blue juice, blue juice is rinse aid. Don't know, or don't use.

Rick Denton  33:18  
I was wondering what rinse aid is

Clancy Denton  33:21  
until the only reason I started using it is because our dishwasher, our first dishwasher here, was not good, and it was not getting our dishes would come out smelling. So I started using it. No, I never used it before in any of our other homes. But so I text started back, and I said, Okay, you need to send me a picture of your dispenser. So she sends me the picture, and so then I called her because I said it's too hard. And she's like, text me back, I'm eating dinner. It's like, okay, so what did I do? I sent her a YouTube video.

Rick Denton  33:58  
You outsource parenting to YouTube, and I support it for I

Clancy Denton  34:02  
know you don't know it and, and I was, I was telling you, I said, you know, when she wants to look up something about one of her video games, or some you know thing from she want, yes, the one you like, she knows how To find that stuff, blue juice in the dishwasher, or whatever, she called me about something else, you know, but, or texted me about something else. And, you know, I actually, I said this to you and, and I'll say it here, they don't listen, but no, it just, I said this to you. I said, Sometimes I feel like her texts are very transactional of I need help. Help me. You know what? Question it's never Hey. What are y'all up to? Hey? And maybe kids just don't do that with their parents. I did now, I will say throughout the text thread, i. Oh, because she was asking me about the bowls we used to make salad. And I said, you have a whole set and somewhere in your kitchen. And, Oh, awesome. Thank you. And then she was texting me about something, okay, great, you know. So at least I get some good responses. But

Rick Denton  35:17  
I think just expecting text to be a way that,

Clancy Denton  35:21  
oh, Tanner arrived home. Sorry, is he about to walk in the front door?

Rick Denton  35:27  
But to this one, I think would

Clancy Denton  35:33  
hold please. Hello, you're on the podcast. Hello. I said you're on the podcast. Where are you? I just saw you. Arrived home. I was

Rick Denton  35:50  
calling to give a debrief. Okay, you guys are recording. You guys are recording right now. Yes, I'll call you later. Yeah, let's do that. You're

Clancy Denton  35:58  
about to walk in the front door, driving

Rick Denton  36:10  
her listeners, well, let me say

Clancy Denton  36:16  
empty nest life with kids that actually enjoy talking to so there that kind of

Rick Denton  36:23  
but I do want to say this about Tegan. When we talk to her, we get stories. So I want to be a little bit fair to her. And I know you feel this way. I just Oh, sorry.

Clancy Denton  36:34  
Well, I figured he did okay.

Rick Denton  36:39  
Texting is not her meaning for communication, yes, and I so it does feel transactional, because that's where she does her transactional communication, over the phone, in person, on road trips, over breakfasts. She talks because she

Clancy Denton  36:52  
did. She called us actually later that, and it was very chatty. And I know you know, this week has just been a fun, social weight for her. She starts classes Monday, she'll call and and debrief about her classes. So, yeah,

Rick Denton  37:08  
we will get because we do. We always got a debrief when she's watching Jim. We'll figure out the new timing. But just like this one called, she'll give us that call too. She

Clancy Denton  37:16  
will so, well, I

Rick Denton  37:17  
think we made him need to get to this call.

Clancy Denton  37:21  
Yeah, I guess he has something exciting to okay, maybe that will explain why where he was. So anyways,

Rick Denton  37:33  
yeah, what a we normally have a way that we end things, and there's kind of flow that gets into us. This completely broke that flow, and that's the joy of the empty nest. So I hope you enjoyed this, the loud, quiet living the empty nest.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai