Empty Nester summer isn't summering E146

Clancy Denton (00:00)
This week on the Loud Quiet, Empty Nester Summer isn't summering.

Rick Denton (00:05)
Hey everybody, welcome back to an episode of The Loud Quiet. It's summer. And summer we're realizing is well actually just a little bit different for empty nesters.

Clancy Denton (00:17)
Yes, it is. Sorry, we were laughing before we got on here 'cause

Rick Denton (00:24)
you want to break the fourth wall? We'll break the fourth wall here a little bit. This is our second episode to record and sometimes we get a little punchy. We had a great guest on before. You'll hear from them in about a month after this release is she was awesome. So But you'll have to stay tuned to find out who she was.

Clancy Denton (00:39)
Let's talk about how summer is different in the empty nest, at least for us, and I would imagine for most empty nesters. The kids ⁓ well, we have one kid here, probably for her last summer, but she is doing school and she is working.

Rick Denton (01:03)
Yeah, like she's doing full on school. It just happens to be remote. She's choosing to move a semester here in summer, so

Clancy Denton (01:09)
And she has been, I think, a lot busier than she thought she was going to be with these summer classes. Tanner is doing his summer associate. So he is working. You know, that's why we did our summer vacation early, you know, in May, so that that's when we could do it. And now we are we're working. And I'm like, okay, it's July 9th.

And it's summer and we're not summering.

Rick Denton (01:44)
And I th and we're not summering. Okay. Before we talk about what is differ what does that mean? What what is summering to you? What does that mean? Well

Clancy Denton (01:57)
Even when even when Tanner was in college, I still before we started this, I was still working, you were still consulting. But my job I was done by noon. So I would hang with the kids. Tegan wasn't working yet because she was still doing drill team, which went

well into the summer. So, you know, what will we do? We would go to the pool, we would go to lunch, we would vacation in the summer because that's when we could vacation. So we were still doing summer. By the time he graduated and started law school and started these summer associates, a summer for us really

changed and then that's when we started our business pretty much.

Rick Denton (03:00)
And the the summering that you're describing, so much of it is kind of the kids dictated the rhythm. And we've talked a ton about that, that in in the empty nest, the kids don't dictate the rhythm. But when they would come back, that would kind of influence it. It it it would. It puts you in this vacation mindset. And this is the first summer that it feels like we're not in that vacation mindset. And not that we were taking a trip all summer long. I'd love that.

But you still had kind of this vacation mindset that maybe evenings were a little bit less structured, maybe mornings were a little different. And this summer, I mean, we're still kind of doing the nine to five.

Clancy Denton (03:42)
Yeah, and I guess it's just maybe we're just busier with our business and the book is finally out and we're planning things around that. And you know, we've had some things come up where we're on these morning show spots. We've added a lot of things to our business that we didn't have last summer. Yeah, but

Rick Denton (04:10)
We talk so much about the freedom of the empty nest and all the things that Yeah. And so I I've it's it's almost like in the empty nest because there's not the school dictate that summer was just hot. Yeah. And it's not it's not a th i is that is that really it or is it I that's what I'm kinda wondering. Is this a hiccup or is this really what summers will be like?

Clancy Denton (04:15)
Not free this summer.

Rick Denton (04:40)
Well,

Clancy Denton (04:40)
Well,

you and I were talking about that. Now, if you watched this week's episode, you know, I can't be outside right now. Anyways, I can't be in the pool because I have incisions that are healing. But I don't want to be outside. It's f freaking hot and humid and you know I have a baby, but I am medically cleared to walk again. I'm having to walk early in the morning because otherwise you're gonna

Rick Denton (05:01)
Are we just getting old and whiny?

Clancy Denton (05:10)
melt when you go outside. So yeah, I don't necessarily want to even be out in it because it's so

Rick Denton (05:19)
You know, I I've I've mentioned talking about the ticket. That's for those that aren't from the Dallas area. It's a radio station that's been around for decades now. It's sports, but it's also lifestyle. And there was a conversation that the morning host, they have a podcast called The Musers Podcast, and they were talking about favorite seasons of the year. And they got into a conversation on do we romanticize summer because it's

Holiday from school in our minds, forget our kids, forget you you, me, Clancy, our kids, our own minds. Do we romanticize summer because it's just away from school? Or those that say summer is their favorite season, is it really their favorite season? And I'm sitting there on the treadmill listening to it and I'm thinking, huh, I don't know that I know the answer to that.

Clancy Denton (06:12)
You know, I love summer. I I have always loved summer because I felt like summer slowed down. And I think exactly what you're saying, but this summer for some reason I feel like it's ramped up. And it's also things that we have added to our own plate. And I think the World Cup being on has added some things in there, albeit

fun things, I feel like there's been events that we've been getting to. Let's get to our trip. Let's get to well.

Rick Denton (06:53)
Pick up tea in first.

Clancy Denton (06:55)
Yes, pick up Tegan. Let's get to our trip. Let's get to the week of medical stuff that we have. Let's get to Clancy's surgery. Let's get to the World Cup game that y'all were going to that took so much planning logistically to get around to. Then since then it's been World Cup has been on TV. Well now

That has drastically dropped because we're down now to what eight teams left. And so now I think we're starting to settle into, hmm, there's not that to take up the time.

Rick Denton (07:38)
Yeah, like the first part of the summer for us was one of those that absolutely had a lot of scheduling to it that now we don't necessarily have. So maybe that is part of the does it feel different to be in the summer in the empty nest? Because now we do have this empty space. I I I want to go back to talking about that the romanticizing of summer versus summer.

Do w was it really actually great? Because I was thinking about my answer to that. And growing up, you know what I remember about summer, other than being out of school, is I had camps. there were Boy Scout camps, there was Camp Longhorn, there was choir tours. So we would be taking that trip. And I know your church growing up, y'all did a choir tour as well. And then I remember s in my mind, I remember spending all my time on the lake. And

course that probably wasn't true, but I kinda think it i I mean, we really were on the lake almost all the time.

Well, we don't have the boat. We don't have the lake. You and I aren't going to camps. We aren't doing those sort of things. So is is that is that why summer is so romanticized because of what we did back then as kids? And we carry that forward with this expectation of summer's gonna be this just amazing thing, when really now as empty nesters, we're just getting old and cranky and we just went our AC in darkness.

Clancy Denton (09:00)
I don't want darkness.

Rick Denton (09:02)
I don't either. I love being outside. You know that I went out running in the heat this morning, so

Clancy Denton (09:08)
I think too it's just

The heat did not used to bother me. The heat did not. I I would much rather be hot than cold. But this summer, for some reason, it has beat me down. And I don't know if it's because like we talked about I am trying to protect myself so much from the sun. Whereas even last summer, we'd be out in the pool, you know.

Rick Denton (09:43)
I would not be sitting upstairs right now. I would be floating in the right now.

Clancy Denton (09:47)
And so I I don't know if that because that would take up a lot of our time. We would be in the pool.

Rick Denton (09:58)
Take up our time.

Clancy Denton (10:02)
So I just I don't know. And the other thing is, you know, if you live in the area we live in, you're gonna be attacked by mosquitoes the second you walk outside when it's the nice time to be outside. So yes, okay. Yeah, we griped a lot. I think we're also finding that

We are doing fun things like Monday night. We went down to Dallas and met Tanner and all of his friends to watch the USA World Cup game. We, because we are empty nesters and because we are have the business that we have together, we could leave early and go to the place that we wanted to go and commandeer tables.

Two hours before the game even started to make sure we had enough space for twelve, fifteen people. I don't even remember how many ended up coming, because they are all still, you know, doing their jobs. So we do have the benefit of doing that. But then what? We got home at ten

Rick Denton (11:15)
And still have my alarm set for 540. I think that's something that you know what school holidays do? And again, it's not about our kids, it's about us as kids, what it's shaped. It forced that productivity break. And then as adults, and and not every w I know folks listening have ⁓ jobs that don't have the same flexibility that ours do. You're still expected to go there is no summer break, basically.

And there's a part of me that's thinking that that the the summer productivity dip, well, maybe that should be more ensconced in our world, right? You we've got other cultures that shut down an entire country for a month, it seems like. And even we, you me, who control our schedule, still set an alarm at 540 to get up after an evening out.

It's it's like we have this productivity addiction that we just can't turn off even when we can.

Clancy Denton (12:15)
Well, and it's not even that. I get up earlier now than I did when I was going into a physical gym to teach classes. Why did that happen? I know, but I get up when you get up now, which I'm like, when did this shift happen? Because I and I don't know, but I like that

Rick Denton (12:28)
I asked that question too.

Clancy Denton (12:44)
schedule. But why do I like that schedule? And then by four o'clock I'm sitting back there falling asleep.

Rick Denton (12:55)
We're getting to why old people eat at four thirty in Florida. We we cannot live we cannot live that lifestyle and I refuse to live that lifestyle.

Clancy Denton (13:04)
You and I were so mad last night because Tegan wanted to go get hibachi, which great. Another thing, you know, having your children back home in the summer is you do a lot more eating out than okay, let's go. So she was out with her friends all day. Great. She only had like one day off this week. Perfect.

Rick Denton (13:20)
Because they'll say, Hey, I want to go do.

Clancy Denton (13:34)
So I said, Hey, you will be back for dinner, you know, for us to go out. Yes. So I'm sitting there, it's like five thirty, which is normally when I get up and start cooking dinner, which is even a little later. I like to eat eat between five thirty and six. That's when we

Rick Denton (13:55)
We'll have a separate conversation about that.

Clancy Denton (13:57)
That is when we usually eat anyways.

And so it's like six o'clock. She's in another city. I'm like, Are you coming? ⁓ yeah. I'm about to like gnaw my arm off. So

Rick Denton (14:14)
Because you're not being fed by six fifteen. And in your in your mind and a little bit in my mind, it's you know, we were already planning to go to dinner at seven and now we're gonna have to go later than seven o'clock.

Clancy Denton (14:26)
No, I was planning to go to dinner at six o'clock. Who said seven? We never said seven.

Rick Denton (14:32)
And yeah, exactly that. That it now we're we're we're morph so forget summer for a second. We're evolving into the the retired crowd that that eats way too early and gets up way too early and falls asleep in the chair. I don't want to be that. So we need to reclaim summer. We need to reclaim that empty nesters get a summer two. We are gonna stay up till ten seven tonight.

Clancy Denton (14:56)
Okay, how are we gonna do that?

We've been doing that anyways. No. Pass. Okay, what's what's next?

Rick Denton (15:11)
we are gonna go to the lake.

Clancy Denton (15:14)
Ask what lake is around here that you want to go to.

Rick Denton (15:17)
We're gonna reclaim summer by

You know what, by reclaiming the freedom that we've declared that we have as empty nesters, and if we don't want to get up at five forty, then by golly we don't get up at five forty. If we want to shut down at a different time, if we want to eat at two, if we want to eat at nine, we can do whatever we want.

Clancy Denton (15:40)
Okay, well I will veto the eating at nine because on Monday night when we were down there, it was s again, so hot. We were outside. I didn't want to eat anything. It's just so hard to eat. So what did I have for dinner? Me and three of the other girls, I was like, I'm going to get gelato. And they're like, I'm coming with you. And so we went and got gelato for dinner.

So I guess hey, that's reclaiming summer. That is I had gelato for dinner. It's like the ice cream truck coming down the street and you have it for dinner. I reclaimed summer on Monday.

Rick Denton (16:12)
They

I think so. You got your gelato and you're right. That's something that Teague and I love to do. We go to Brahms and we sit in the back of my truck and eat ice cream in the back of the truck and enjoy that. The summer beach read is another thing that's out there. And so if y'all are so inclined and interested in a beach read, I have one that I would recommend. And it is the Loud Quiet's book. You can get that over at theloudquuiet.com. It's available at Amazon. If you then head back to the Loud Quiet, you'll be able to get the free bonuses associated with the book as well.

Clancy Denton (16:52)
Yeah, so what does Jael's summer look like? Are you feeling like it is summer or are you feeling like it's just a continuation of the regular year going on to

Rick Denton (17:05)
Difference between July and and March other than temperature, or is it really different for you?

Clancy Denton (17:10)
And you know, I will say though, it is nice that we are not tied to having to travel in the summer. And we have some trips planned in September and October, and we can go when we want to go, which is very nice. And I don't know that I would trade that freedom of the empty nest for having the freedom in the summer. Well, I'd like the freedom of maybe

Rick Denton (17:35)
Want both.

Clancy Denton (17:42)
loosening up the schedule a little bit in the summer, but I don't know that we're gonna get that because we have we have things to do.

Rick Denton (17:51)
We have things to do. Okay.

Clancy Denton (17:54)
So share with us if you do. No, just share with us what your summer is looking like. We're we're halfway through and for some of you who still have kids that are either going back to school or some of you may have one in college and some still in high school. I mean, they're pushing those dates back earlier and earlier. So your summer may be getting close to the end. Just drop us a note.

Rick Denton (17:56)
Yeah.

Clancy Denton (18:22)
On our community you can find all the information at theloudquiet.com and we hope you enjoyed this episode of the Loud Quiet.