Attitude Of Gratitude In The Empty Nest - E60

Rick Denton  0:00  
Are we going to tell the story?

Clancy Denton  0:02  
Oh, that we had to fight on the way

over there. No, oh, what story we're

going to tell? This is the loud quiet living the empty nest. Welcome

Rick Denton  0:11  
back to the loud quiet. This is episode 60. Clearly, we are not in our studio today. We've got a beautiful background, bad lighting, but I hope that the sound is coming through just fine. Everything I just did is the exact opposite what this episode is going to be about, and that was by design complaining, because instead of complaining actually today, we really want to talk about gratitude.

Clancy Denton  0:35  
Yeah, and we are in Arizona for Parents Weekend. We will talk about that. And you know this parents, we can is different from the last one. So

Rick Denton  0:45  
especially if you listen for a while, you know why?

Clancy Denton  0:50  
So this week in life group, our message series that we've been doing was about the five anchors of prayer, and the last one was gratitude. And so I just thought today we could actually talk to that, because we were talking about how thankful we are for things that have happened this weekend and that kind of thing, and even prior to before we left. So because

Rick Denton  1:15  
we did even talk about that. You know, we talk about our kids a lot, but we and it's really to be thankful about your kids, but it's also important for the

Clancy Denton  1:24  
empty nest. Yeah, so I just was going to read the definition of what gratitude. It says gratitude means a feeling of appreciation or thankfulness for something good in your life, whether it's a person experience or simply the fact of being alive. It's the act of recognizing and acknowledging the positive aspects in your life and expressing thanks for them. I'm reading that just being alive. It's funny because when we got here, that car rental place, the lady next to us, the person walked up to say, you know, Hi, I'm here. And she said, How's your day? And the lady said, Oh, just, you know, I woke up this morning, so it's good, thankful to be alive.

Rick Denton  2:10  
Yeah, that's really taking it to the extreme, but it's the right extreme. Like, if you can believe this is going to sound almost cheesy, and you're probably gonna be like, Okay, that's your Sunday School answer. But no, really, I have, because I was finding myself in such a grumbly space that I just did the verse of, okay, wait, this is the day the Lord has made, and I will rejoice and be glad in it, and just start with that, and not that. Suddenly, everything is burned and sunshine, but by starting by priming your brain with a positive thought, I have found that it has at least carried me through the day in a more positive scale than do it when I don't prime

Clancy Denton  2:49  
it that way. And it may not do for the whole day, but it does flip your brain in that moment right there. And I'm I wanted to bring in something that you know, someone in our life group, Brandy said, you know, they started a thing in their family. Because she said, you know, there was a lot of complaining going on. And she said, Okay, stop list five things that you're that happened good today. And so she said, they have continued that five good things for a long time, and I love that. That's really a good thing, that if we have younger listeners out there who still have kids at home, great thing to start with your kids when they're young. You know, we always people do the high and the low, and you go around and tell the high and the low of your day. But I like just the try to focus and end on the positive. Yeah, what you can recall. And sometimes there may be days that you can't think of five

Rick Denton  3:48  
Well, or I don't think there's, it wasn't that we were getting instructions or anything, but I don't think that there's anything wrong with if you're really struggling, because I think that's important to say you're like, life is not we live in a fallen world, and therefore life is not going to be Nirvana. Nirvana waits for us on the other side. Well, it can be hard when you're in those dark places, so I don't want to diminish now, but it can be okay. I'm thankful that I can see my hand. I'm thankful that the air is in my lungs and those sorts of things.

Clancy Denton  4:21  
I'm thankful that I woke up.

Rick Denton  4:22  
There can be times that's the box you

Clancy Denton  4:25  
got, yeah, no there and that, that's a hard thing for I think anyone to when you are going through it, whatever it is, right? It's hard when people say, Oh, but, you know, find the good. You know that's not, sometimes. That's not what you need to hear right there. But I do appreciate, let's, let's try to work

Rick Denton  4:53  
on the return around without, without. Well, we're certainly this horses as well. Well beaten here, but it is. It's so because that is especially in the church world, that people can be like, well, how can you possibly be unhappy? God is good. Yes, he is, but he also gave us emotions. And therefore sometimes our emotions are dark, and to help us get through that, this gratitude and thankfulness that we're talking about today is a key part of that.

Clancy Denton  5:19  
Yeah, yeah. So, I mean,

Rick Denton  5:22  
you started to talk about the the gratitude, the comparison between this Parents Weekend and last, last Parents Weekend, yeah, and, well, I don't want to tell your story, but I'll lead you into the story of when we met Teagan. We arrived. We landed early, we went hiking, and then we met Tegan at a parking lot, and then we were going to connect for lunch. Well, we had two cars. They're like, Oh, Tegan, can I come with you?

Clancy Denton  5:49  
Which I was, first of all, I was surprised. She's like, Oh yeah, ride with me, mom. I was like, oh, because you're drinking number one. Okay, no,

Rick Denton  5:57  
she had and that's she's always been happy to see us. It just that kind of thing? So, yeah, so you told me something when you got out of the car. I

Clancy Denton  6:05  
just said, she is the growth. And again, you know, we had seen so much growth with what she had to deal with last year, but just getting in the car with her, because she didn't have her car out here last year, getting in the car with her, and she was just knew where she was coming. She still uses ways like everyone should, but the just comfortableness and maturity, and I was just she seems like she's grown again so much, and we've only it's been a month since we've seen her. Yeah,

Rick Denton  6:44  
that confidence, and I got to experience a little that on the highway when we were driving the long distance trip from the Dallas area to Tucson. Is hearing you describe her inside the city that and I know we're talking about a 19 year old and driving, but you throw your daughter into another city that they didn't have their car for a year. I'm really thankful to see this confident young woman in many different aspects, and driving is one of those aspects that's fun to watch, and it's nice to walk away from her and go, Well, boy, better. You know, lower the deductibles. Because, no, it's great.

Clancy Denton  7:22  
That was that was very nice. And we had a nice lunch. And then we were going to a ceremony that Tegan was getting something for Dean's List distinction, and which feels like

Rick Denton  7:41  
she's doing really well. That's not a topic we're struggling. No,

Clancy Denton  7:45  
she learned in high school that if you start from start off on the top, it's hard to get up there. So she has just knocked it out of the park. But, you know, she then she had already another one of her friends was receiving another award, and had asked several of them Her family couldn't come. So it asked several of them to be her family go. So, you know, we got a night that we could do whatever we wanted in Tucson. It was nice. Yeah? What

Rick Denton  8:15  
did we do? We found a really good place to have some pizza. Yeah, it was great. And are we going to tell the story? Oh,

Clancy Denton  8:22  
that we got in a fight on the way over there. No, what story were you going to tell? We did. I

Rick Denton  8:31  
was going to talk about the entertainment there at the restaurant. Sometimes people get a little over served. Me entertaining. Thankfully, we weren't the white staff. Okay, let's talk about that. Yeah, we got in a fight. And I think we can. I think we look back and go, Yep, it's kind of a stupid topic. Oh, it was totally

Clancy Denton  8:50  
down. The reason we had that fight, we had been up since 145 Tucson time. It was now, right, seven o'clock Tucson time.

Rick Denton  9:00  
Here, we're

Clancy Denton  9:01  
tired, hungry, so that is what caused that fight, not the radio.

Rick Denton  9:10  
We're fine about Spotify. Let's just call it out for what it is.

Clancy Denton  9:13  
I am thankful that we can recover. That's what, that's what I was

Rick Denton  9:18  
gonna say. Now, not only that, we can recover the next and I'm not getting into the next day, but the next day, we actually were able to tell our child about, yeah, no, we were we were fighting yesterday, and we're recovered as a result. And she even brought up, she's like, Yeah, there was something that

Clancy Denton  9:34  
y'all thought about, mac and cheese. No idea what she was talking about. I'm

Rick Denton  9:37  
thankful that she seemed that a loving couple can have an authentic disagree and a real one, not even a fluff another disagreement, a real disagreement, figure out how to get through that disagreement. Love each other through it. And now on the side of it, kind of laugh about it. And yeah, I'm kind of laughing about it. I wasn't during it. There were new words. We so we enjoyed our

Clancy Denton  10:04  
we know all those words, they're not new. So yes, we had a nice evening. It ended, but I mean, she had texted us, and it was before 10 o'clock, doing a celebration and going out, and I texted her. That's when I said, sorry. We were halt we were so tired. That's a long travel day.

Rick Denton  10:26  
I had, actually, I was watching because you're in a hotel room, and I didn't want to pull my phone out. So I was watching friends on TV, and I was like, if I could just make it through this episode, then I will have stayed up till 10. I saw the credits and 956 and she texted 958

Clancy Denton  10:39  
Yeah. So, yeah. So that was, there was a lot to be thankful for that day. And again, as we referred to, you know, she was having some struggles last year at this time, at Parents Weekend. And so it was just so nice that this one, we didn't do the traditional Parents Weekend things, except we did go on campus to do her ceremony and

Rick Denton  10:59  
made our donation at the bookstore, yes, aka purchase. But

Clancy Denton  11:03  
what we got to do on Saturday was so much fun. That was so

Rick Denton  11:06  
much fun. So those of y'all that, if you know the shootout at the okay corral, and yes, there's some it wasn't quite an okay get around whatever, but that's what has been branded. And if you've seen the movie Tombstone, you know Wyatt Earp, you know the story of the gun fight and the Old West? Well, that's what we did. It's an hour and a half, not even hour and a half hour 10, hour 10 minutes from Tucson, and it was fun, different than when we last Thanksgiving, went to something. It was clear that this was exclusively crafted to be an old west experience based off of an old mine Tombstone is still a town. And yes, Allen Street is very much a tourist Allen Street, it's dirt. It's closed off. It was so neat and gorgeous. Blue skies warm, but the mountains in the background, it was you really did feel like you had stepped back in time, like last one, but back into the old west.

Clancy Denton  11:59  
Well, it did feel like we stood back in time, because everything took cash, and we're sitting there going, we have no cash. So there I am thankful that no he was with us, Tegan, roommate and best friend, because she was our ATM, because she started calling her the ATM. I have cash because I don't ever use it, and I just make sure I have some. Like, well, you're smart, because we don't have any.

Rick Denton  12:22  
We showed up to this town with 10 bucks, and the first time we realized, well, first we we were barely able to tip one of the tour guides. Where's the QR code? And then we went into a saloon to have drink

Clancy Denton  12:38  
modern, looking so like it wasn't like it

Rick Denton  12:41  
was an old west looking but,

Clancy Denton  12:43  
but had modern facility, but, no,

Rick Denton  12:48  
yeah, so the building $20 sweet. I hold out my card. I were cash only. I looked at her, this may not end well. Whenever I said, Hang on, we're gonna have to go hit the ATM. And she's heard that before. Well, I've talked to Noe, and she's like, No, I got, I got cash. So we're flying cells to her as quickly as possible. So So yes, I'm thankful for No, yeah,

Clancy Denton  13:09  
yes, but it was, it was really fun. It was a good, fun day.

Rick Denton  13:13  
If you're ever, I would never tell someone fly to Tombstone, but it is, it is a detour. It is a departure. If you're in the area, if you're driving out this way, definitely head off of the 10 and go down the tombstone. It was neat. And you're actually only 40 minutes from the Mexican border. And I think there's more things to do south of Tombstone.

Clancy Denton  13:34  
And I mean, we were there. We did the whole day. So we

Rick Denton  13:38  
saw a gun fight. We didn't even do the official Wyatt Earp one or whatever. But I don't feel like we missed out. We saw one that was part of the western theme park, I think it was called. And these are actors that have actually been in big budget films. Yes, one was a stunt actor, and transformers and

Clancy Denton  13:56  
girls were so excited about that, because they just recently started watching the whole Transformers franchise. And so they kept, we need to find out which one he was in. We need to find out. And so he ended up being our we did the ghost tour at the end of the day, and he ended up being our tour guide. And so they got to talk to him, and that was really cool for them. They thought that was really neat. I'm

Rick Denton  14:16  
thankful inside of the acting. And it was, it's, it's cheesy. Know it it's women. And Tegan called this out. She said they did a fantastic job of breaking the fourth wall when they chose to bust the fourth wall, it was really fun to do that the first couple times. Like, Wait, oh my gosh, they really did get oh no, it's part of the script. I'm thankful that you were selected for audience

Clancy Denton  14:43  
participation. Yes, apparently I have a new husband. I'm

Rick Denton  14:47  
thankful that you're on payroll.

Clancy Denton  14:52  
Said, well, because he was the minor which they made jokes about, M, I N, O, R versus M. I.

Rick Denton  14:59  
And er, and he was the the, definitely the most comic relief of the four. Actor, very slapstick. So

Clancy Denton  15:08  
yes. So he came up into the audience and approached me and asked me, gave me a thing with that was supposed to have his phone number on it. And yes, asked me to be his girlfriend, fiance, wife, and

Rick Denton  15:22  
then looked at Teagan and said, Daddy will be home at four. All the while I'm sitting he's like, No, that's not your husband. That's your cousin. You

Clancy Denton  15:33  
It was fun. Yeah, it was fun. And it, you know, I like that. The Teagan, the girls, they're at an age now where that's not embarrassing to them. They think it's fun. You know, when they were younger, they might have been a little embarrassed that their mom was getting, you know, right? But no, she was texting her friends. The minor just flirted with my mom. That was fun. But yeah, we just had it was just a nice, enjoyable,

Rick Denton  16:03  
you know, afterwards, yeah, no one's gonna Michelin star any of these restaurants. But I will say that everyone we interacted with was incredibly friendly. The

Clancy Denton  16:11  
prices were not touristy, right? Yeah, town prices now it

Rick Denton  16:16  
was, it was, I don't know if there was a schedule biker event there, or if that's just Saturday, no,

Clancy Denton  16:23  
but that it was an

Rick Denton  16:24  
event, what I did, what I don't know, is if there's always one every Saturday or something that

Clancy Denton  16:28  
we had to change the tour because they but yes, now I heard them. So

Rick Denton  16:31  
there was a kind of a biker vibe at the town, which was fun, and it was, it was all kinds of the ghost tour was neat. And I'm not, I'm not a big ghost guy or anything like that. Even I enjoyed the stories that were told. A lot of it because, wow, I don't know whether there were orbs or streaks or paraNormals going on, but the stories that are being told are historical stories of people that have befallen certain fates in certain locations there. And so you got a real taste the Old

Clancy Denton  16:59  
West. Yeah, it was fun. And, you know, in the car on the way back, I mean, Tegan and Noe both were just like, that was so much fun. Thank you so much, you know. So I like that our kids, and this is another thing we talked about, that the art of the thank you is just kind of gone and disappearing. And so it was nice to hear them still be so thankful and appreciative. And yeah, both of them were very much so. And then on the way back, you got to introduce Tegan.

Rick Denton  17:28  
I'm very thankful for this. So we didn't quite, yeah, we knew we were going to drive and maybe get something to eat on the way back, because we ate dinner a little early. And we thought about a diner, because we're saying, you know, piece of pie or something like that. And I was mentioning diners, and I mentioned Waffle House, and it was like a bolt of lightning hit T and she lives like, I finally get to go to Waffle House. We're going. So I got to introduce tea into her first ever Waffle House event. And that was delightful. It was not now, I told her, it was not the classic Waffle House experience, because we got there at nine o'clock or so. So it was not the 2am visit, where it's usually crowded, pretty empty and freezing cold, yeah, but it was not

Clancy Denton  18:10  
enjoy my waffle one, I didn't want Waffle House and two, but I wasn't gonna say anything, because I knew how excited y'all were. It was 30 degrees in there. I mean, I had to go back out to the car and put on my jeans and try to find another jacket. It

Rick Denton  18:24  
was so cold, I'm thankful that you brought your extra clothes so that you could be warm. I would have

Clancy Denton  18:28  
just gone inside my car, because it was, I mean, it was that kind of cold in there, so, but that

Rick Denton  18:33  
was, that was great to be able to do that. And so now, you know, here we are this morning and talking about being thankful, and it's not just I'm actually thankful for what we're doing the rest of the day as well, getting to go see wild robot, whatever that is, right, wild robot, and just the things that we're getting to do,

Clancy Denton  18:50  
I'll say this, I'm thankful that we are out of place in our lives careers, that we don't have to go back and Sunday night and Get ready to go to work on Monday. We have some flexibility now, so it's nice that today, yes, we can go and see this movie with Teagan that she's already seen and really wants us to see and take her friends out to dinner tonight. Yeah,

Rick Denton  19:13  
we when we were talking about gratitude and thankfulness, though, not though, and we realized it's really easy to focus on your kids. It's really easy to be thankful about your kids. It's really easy to make that where the ground so thankful. School, I'm so thankful, friends, that kind of stuff, yeah, but the gratitude and thankfulness needs to be yourself. And we were talking about that and and life group helped bring a lot of that conversation up, we've had a lot to be thankful, and I've had a lot to be thankful in the very recent past about our life and my business life, as we've talked about here, not going to belabor it, but going a different direction. Well, that can be scary, and it can. Be hard to know if you actually are on the right path. And last week, we got multiple validation points that this is the right path. And when I say validation points in business, I mean monies, contracts, leads, business ideas said, So that idea of I'm thankful that we were taking a risk, and at least for now, it looks like that risk is absolutely the right direction.

Clancy Denton  20:24  
Yeah, and, you know, Wednesday, I came up to the office, and we worked for, you know, three hours at least, and I had to leave because I had, we would have gone, but before I had gotten home, you texted me, and I had already thought on the way home I was saying that was really just fun. Yeah, I had a It was fun. We had some not

Rick Denton  20:52  
discussions, yeah, it was creative differences. Discussion, not a fight. We had different creative ideas. And so that was healthy debate,

Clancy Denton  20:59  
but it was just, it was, I was driving home, I was like, I really enjoyed that, and you texted me and said, I really enjoyed that. You know, whenever you really appreciated

Rick Denton  21:10  
you being there, yeah, I like having somebody push me. I've worked by myself for so long. I'm thankful that you are involved in the business now. I

Clancy Denton  21:17  
think that for me, it's opening another part of my brain, like I said to you, I haven't used in a long time when I first started teaching, and every time I'd learn a new format, I had to really use my brain and create and come up with routines for every class. You know, now I'm just on autopilot, and so it's nice to have something new to get the creative juices flowing again, and now that we're in a creative space, right? I yeah, I really enjoyed that time.

Rick Denton  21:52  
Yeah, that was, that was definitely, definitely something to be thankful for. And you know, we've got even sort of macro things to be we talked about it at Life Group as well, that no one, no one ever, is going to say a sentence. I'm thankful that family passed away, so don't hear that in the sentence. But I'm incredibly thankful for the financial savviness that both my grandmother and my my mom and dad, but you know worst recently, because it was my mom, the financial savviness that they had has created a scenario where they have allowed Teagan and Tanner's education, their graduate education, to be something that they've effectively covered. And I am so thankful that we aren't sure we knew we could because of aggressive savings. Since they were in diapers, we could take care of their undergrad, but graduate was going to be a different story. And I'm not thankful that I lost family members, but I'm thankful that in the the silver lining of that is that they were so financially savvy to be able to specifically protect Tanner and tegans. Yes, education,

Clancy Denton  23:09  
yeah. And we, you know, we've talked about it before, just the relationships that the kids have with my parents, with your mom, with, you know, Nana, that they are very fortunate that they, you know, have grandparents that care about them. Oh, I'm so thankful about your your parents, and several ways, yeah,

Rick Denton  23:34  
I mean the involvement that they've had. And yes, now and suddenly we're back to kids. I said we weren't talking about kids, but we're talking about kids, but we're talking about kids, but the involvement that your parents have had in their life has allowed us to be a better couple because of what they have invested in our kids, and that is paying dividends here in the empty nest that the dating that we did then enabled by the freedom that your parents gave us, at times, gave us a roadmap to be able to do the empty nest relationship life that we're living now. Have no idea what I just said. We

Clancy Denton  24:10  
are thankful for our other child too. This is just,

Rick Denton  24:16  
I don't necessarily thankful for that other child, since he was taunting me on the way home as Duke gaffed a football game last an overtime football game against SMU, but he got to, you know what I'm thankful for? I

Clancy Denton  24:30  
will say that kind of joking, okay, yeah, but right before you're like, I really kind of wanted SMU to win. Well,

Rick Denton  24:35  
I wanted another one because Duke has no chance to win the ACC, or they do, but not really. SMU has a chance to win the ACC, and if they win the ACC, SMU, going to the football playoff, that's insane. They're not Miami. Clemson are so much better. This is not a sports podcast, so I'll just stop there now. But I am thankful that that is something that it can be hard to connect to your adult kid and we we have sports for sure.

Clancy Denton  24:58  
Well, yes, and it was. Amongst many other things. And it was, it was, I mean, the child's already texted three times this morning. I don't and I didn't even look to see what they were. Tanner the

Rick Denton  25:11  
last the drive coming home was a good example that I am thankful for those relationships, because, you know, I didn't have any angst about playing Tanner's text for an entire car of you, Teagan and Noe, because it was going to just be positive and fun, yes, ribbing back and forth. And then he ended up calling us when Duke did end up losing, and I guess I should say this, and you won, but yeah, I think I'm thankful this is, you know, it's also pretty darn easy to be thankful when you're sitting here you can see up the blue skies. Oh, it's so nice. Yeah, I don't know when we'll be back here. I mean, I'll do a quick one, but we need to, we need to get back out here

Clancy Denton  25:49  
next semester, because now it's pretty much coming up on the end of the semester, and she'll be home and back and forth. So, so, yeah, so you know, this is actually a good one to be getting released on Halloween as we move into November, which is the month of thankfulness. You know that's because Thanksgiving is in there. Now, anything

Rick Denton  26:13  
about we're releasing this on Halloween. We didn't do a spectacular.

Clancy Denton  26:19  
We'll treat everyone and put up Tanner's Halloween costume pictures that he was sending us, because He pretty much knocked it out of the park with one of them. We haven't seen the other one. Yeah. So, so there you go. Lots to be thankful for. And I mean, I'm, we're, and we've said this before, I just feel like we're in a good space right now. And I'm sure there's something lurking around the corner called life, yeah and yes, there will be

Rick Denton  26:51  
and flexing the muscle of thankfulness, while it's good, will help us to be able to use that muscle, yeah, when it's not good, yeah,

Clancy Denton  27:01  
very good point, why they

Rick Denton  27:05  
another coffee mug.

Clancy Denton  27:08  
I never got my I liked list.

Rick Denton  27:13  
There might be, maybe if someone wouldn't mention things, someone could just enjoy the arrival of things.

Clancy Denton  27:24  
Anyway, there you go. Another episode of the loud quiet, living the empty nest.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai