Reinventing Us In The Empty Nest - E52

Clancy Denton  0:02  
That just looks so weird because it does it after Sorry. Okay, go ahead. This is the loud quiet living the empty nest. Hey everyone.

Rick Denton  0:10  
Welcome back to the loud quiet episode 52 Thanks again for listening. And if you haven't told somebody, tell somebody. We've seen some growth lately, and it's kind of nice. So y'all are talking to folks, so thank you for that. We appreciate it. And as always, please let us know what's on your minds too, so that we can learn from you. And also, who knows, might make it into an episode someday?

Clancy Denton  0:35  
Yep. So

Rick Denton  0:41  
is our minds just not quite as sharp this morning? I

Clancy Denton  0:44  
don't know, but, I mean, we've had a busy weekend, which we'll talk about. It's been fun, but it's been busy, and it is holiday weekend, which is so funny, because, like I said, I had, you know, several appointments this week, and every time, oh, what are your plans for the holiday weekend? And every and I just like, Oh, it is a holiday weekend when you don't have kids in school. Element, you know, high school, public school. It's, I don't even think about the holidays, because our work schedules are kind of different, that part too. It's not just Yeah, because we're not corporate. I mean, I am officially off on Monday, but am I still going to the gym? Right? Yeah, I'm just not getting paid to go that day, right? You know, it's so it is different that we're not, ooh, you know,

Rick Denton  1:36  
I get a day away from the office or that kind of thing, because I might go in, but no, I'm gonna probably get that coming home, let's be honest.

Clancy Denton  1:43  
So anyways, I hope everyone is enjoying their labor day weekend. If you had fun plans or anything, we thought this week we would talk about the idea of reinventing yourself or reinventing things together, which we are kind of embarking on. You know, last night, when we were talking about it, I said, I've actually and you have as well. And I think probably most people now, some people have been in the same career, the same place their entire grown adult lives, especially

Rick Denton  2:27  
a professional, if you were a physician, if you're an attorney, if you are,

Clancy Denton  2:32  
well, yeah. But even the generation of my parents, you know, yeah, let's start. They stayed at companies. My dad stayed at his company from the time he was in college to the time he retired, you know, my Ashley has been with Hall since, you know, 20. Yeah, there are people that have done that we just have not I talked about how I went from or last night, when we were talking full time stay at home, mom, into the fitness world, and that was 14 years ago. Well,

Rick Denton  3:13  
you did transformations. Even before that. You started out your career was in nursing, then you became a flight attendant, and you became a stay at home mom. And so you've always done transformations.

Clancy Denton  3:24  
Yeah, I wasn't going back that far, but it, but it shows even in your your core, but you know, and so now we're and you have done the same. You went from corporate world to wanting to own your own business, which you did,

Rick Denton  3:42  
yeah, that's sort of a transformation, or as a maybe, I always, never really fit in the corporate world. And so it was just, it was more of a discovery of who I actually was. Kind of transformation, which a lot of transformations are, is it's not changing into something, but rather allowing you to be what you actually already are, yeah.

Clancy Denton  3:59  
And I think when an opportunity is presented, that you can choose to do that, because sometimes you just can't, right? And so when an opportunity presents itself, you and I have both been on board, and as a couple, both people need to be on board if you're planning on you Sure hope

Rick Denton  4:24  
we've been very good about that. And if we don't, if we don't come to that agreement, then we don't do what that thing is typically. I mean, one person might lead the other. There might be a one of us might say, I don't know, but Okay, I'll do it, you know, that kind of stuff. So necessarily I'm agreeing. But rather, let's see where it goes, as long as though there's that agreement to give it that shot, kind of thing,

Clancy Denton  4:50  
yeah, yeah. And, you know, I didn't even think about if there's things that I don't think that any of the. True, reinventing things we've done so far have failed or caused?

Rick Denton  5:11  
Well, I think you know what, and this is kind of almost a business cliche, but it depends on your definition of fail, because, yeah, there have been moments in my business of zero revenue. Yet each one of those moments has been a learning opportunity. So it's, you know, fail fast. Learn from your failures all that kind of stuff. There's some truth to it. So as long as you continue to learn, then you've actually never failed. It just depends on what that definition of fail is, well,

Clancy Denton  5:37  
and I think anytime you're and I'm using the buzzword reinvention, reinventing. Anytime you're doing that, you have to go into it knowing it's not gonna be awesome all the time, absolutely, you know there's gonna be difficult things, but that's where you reframe, which is another popular word these days.

Rick Denton  6:02  
I didn't know all these words well, and you said, go into it knowing that it's not necessarily always going to be good. I think you also have to go into being willing to realize the idea may not work, and be willing to accept that and discover that sooner than later, so that with the right balance of pushing through. And that's not something that's scientific. It's not something like we could say, Okay, so after four weeks of your idea, but rather, it's just knowing, am I do I need to keep the endurance up? Is this one of those hard periods or Nope, this didn't work. Pivot, move forward.

Clancy Denton  6:38  
And I think that I actually one of my podcasts that I listened to this week, they were actually talking about some of that, because in the jobs that some of them have, there are contracts that sometimes don't get renewed, and talking about how watching some of the people in The industry who choose to still act like they're still doing that job, and then their houses are going into foreclosure because they're still, yeah, because they're still acting like lit Okay, they're still living like they have that paycheck coming in. And it's not that's it's hard to Well,

Rick Denton  7:19  
think about in our situation. Let's say that we made, and I'm not using real numbers here, of course, but we made, let's say we make X dollars, and suddenly we make 20% of X dollars. It's hard for me to look at you and go, Hey, we're gonna need to sell the house. Hey, we're gonna need to move. We're gonna that's the same thing, but we're gonna need to not do the things that we do. That's a hard conversation from spouse to spouse, and I liked

Clancy Denton  7:42  
what one of them said this week. You know? He said I because most of them had other things going on as well. They weren't just on reality TV. But he said, the moment that I found on my contract was not that the show was not coming back. Everything that that money went towards no more. He said, I, you know, I sold the car that I bought with that money. I did, you know, change this and change that. So I think you have to be realistic too. That's

Rick Denton  8:23  
it. That's a discipline that 99% of people probably don't have. I'd even point to us. We've had revenue highs, we've had revenue lows, and we tend to stay pretty steady stream in how we approach life. That's a very bold move, and actually one that I kind of admire. Yeah, no,

Clancy Denton  8:41  
and that's it was very, a very good piece of advice for for anyone, even one of my girlfriends this week, um, her daughter has already gotten a job out of college. She has her salary, and then she gets a monthly stipend as well, and her mom told her, don't put that into the amount, because you never know the next job you go to, you may not have that monthly stipend. So I was like, that's really good advice for the kids that may not understand

Rick Denton  9:15  
that stuff. And that's in that same vein, whether it's the stipend or whatever, but it's live below your means The Millionaire Next Door. Are you a shooting I can't remember the phrase, but basically, are you an over accumulator of wealth or an under accumulator of wealth? And basically it's, if you make this kind of money, well, you better spend less than this kind of money, regardless of what this kind of money is,

Clancy Denton  9:35  
yeah. So it's not a financial episode, yeah. How did this happen? We just went down that because that's just us. But anyways, I did so we are talking about reinventing so I just pulled a definition that I found that said reinventing yourself is a process of personal growth that involves becoming a better version of yourself. It can involve making changes to your life, such as. Adopting a new life, a new style, taking up a new hobby, or changing careers. It can also involve changing how you think and behave. So I think all of those kind of go together. You know, I like the the adopting a new style, which I think that's

Rick Denton  10:21  
the first one they chose, because I think that's probably, like the, the the mildest of what's up there,

Clancy Denton  10:26  
right? But that's probably the easiest to do. You can chop your hair. You can, you know, some of us can. You can go get hair implants.

Rick Denton  10:38  
It was that request, all right? Well, I'm getting on a plane to do, where to pay, okay, oh, I'm gonna extract that piece, and that's, that's what I'm gonna carry around. Well, she told me,

Clancy Denton  10:52  
Oh, Lord no, but that is interesting, that that is the first one, and it makes me think of, you know, fast fashion, and how, I mean, I love fast fashion, because then you can, I know, but I love it because then you can buy things, and, yes, change your wardrobe every with the trends. So anyways, but no,

Rick Denton  11:16  
we're not, it's not an environmental podcast.

Clancy Denton  11:21  
So, but the one I think that we are focusing on right now, now we did we did one. We took up a new hobby. This was a new hobby for us, starting a year ago. Now we're, we're not changing careers. We're just, how do you what would you categorize it? As it?

Rick Denton  11:42  
Well, it certainly, I

Clancy Denton  11:44  
guess I'm changing creators. And I didn't know I was I'm not I'm not leaving Ashley, I'm not leaving yet. But

Rick Denton  11:54  
so this is semantics. I think it's an evolution rather than a change, because when I think of change would be like going from consulting to, you know, pharmaceutical sales or something, that's just completely but it's semantics. What? What was the realization? Actually, let me just say what it is, and then talk about kind of how I and then we got to this point is it was a we're going to inside of my business use podcasting as the primary revenue generator and not sponsorships of podcasts, although that's one of

Clancy Denton  12:31  
the reasons we would welcome any sponsorship. That's

Rick Denton  12:33  
true. The the one that we're talking about a CX passport, which is my business podcast. It was the realization that I had a couple of brands ask me, Hey, would you do something like this at our event? So come and do CX passport at our event, and it, over time, sort of evolved in okay, we're creating CX passport live, and going to do this for events. Events will hire me and the podcast to create episodes with a mixture of their guests, a mixture of my guests on site, for a myriad of reasons. And I'm not going to make this an advertisement here in the loud quiet, but there's reasons monetary and engagement that businesses would want to hire CX passport live for their event. You

Clancy Denton  13:20  
should put, I didn't put the logo up here, but you should put the logo, yeah, because, hey, I worked on that. That was, that was so I am now an employee of,

Rick Denton  13:34  
yeah, wait, wait, hang on. Don't say that on the record. You are not an employee, because I don't have any payroll taxes to pay for you, or anything like that. Yet, we are exploring, but you have started to work for the business, yes, and so no, all IRS records aside, your first day of work was, well,

Clancy Denton  13:53  
yeah, I skipped the I forgot. I'd put up the five kind of things that they gave you to do your okay?

Rick Denton  14:04  
So a transformation of work as a tease, because as I glance at this, and I haven't seen this before, today, you're just showing it now, yeah, a lot of this is exactly why I and now dragging you into it, we are making this transformation. Because I had looked at what, number one, acknowledge your achievements and successes. Where was the revenue coming from? It was sponsorship of the podcast. Where was the praise coming from? It was coming from the podcast. The actual consulting work was boring, the spit out of me, and I was ready to acknowledge the achievements and successes in the podcasting space?

Clancy Denton  14:43  
Yeah, the second one is cultivate curiosity and embrace lifelong learning, which I think is, yes, good. You need to keep your brain active and and keep keep learning and that that could be with anything that doesn't have to be just career. Year that could be just cultivating curiosity about different types of people, different cultures, different you know, traveling everything that we do.

Rick Denton  15:09  
I think that's a big one for mental health, not mental health, brain. Brain Health, right? Yeah, that not that. My mom was not curious embrace life, but she did. So it sometimes just biology. Is biology? It is known, though, that that can help stave off dementia and other diseases. Number

Clancy Denton  15:28  
three is listen to your feelings and attune to your desires. Well, I mean, this talking about that

Rick Denton  15:34  
I already kind of talked about, I won't belabor the point, but, and I listened to other podcasts that talked about things like this, of where was my energy in the morning? And I'm not talking esoterically, I mean, literally, just where was I excited about doing something? It wasn't consulting, it was podcasting, even some of the boring stuff and even the lifelong learning. How many YouTube rabbit holes have I gone down around cameras and microphones and sound and all that, which to many people would be boring as anything. I'm loving it. So that's been the interesting I

Clancy Denton  16:05  
like four because I think this is always something that gets left out when things are given to you or you have achieved something as the practice gratitude and reframe appreciation. And that word reframe again. You know, bad things happen. And yeah, I'm not trying to be all Pollyanna, but you know, sometimes out of tragic things, good things can come. And so sometimes it is nice to reframe to a place of appreciation, rather than wallowing and what's going on? Yeah,

Rick Denton  16:44  
and I know what you're alluding to. I think we'll you know, but I also know that I can speak to that the consulting pipeline had dried up. And that could be something that I could be very bitter about, that there was not revenue from consulting. Well actually, the reframe appreciation is, thank God there was no revenue, because what was I doing for a year and a half working for a client that great people, but the work was not enjoyable, but I was doing it because the revenue was there. You took that, that needle of revenue out, and suddenly we can make this change. So instead of being unhappy about that, I reframed that into Thank goodness. Yeah, that happened.

Clancy Denton  17:21  
And then number five is embrace small changes with an open heart. That one could be just everyday life that doesn't have to necessarily revolve around a transformation. But

Rick Denton  17:35  
you know what that one speaks to me, as I see this again for the first time for me, is it when someone's choosing to go into a transformation, the temptation to be all right, this big thing I'm going to do, and it can be frustrating if the big thing doesn't come to fruition right away, but embrace those small pieces along The way and be be happy for the small pieces that you know are building towards that more grand transformation that you seek to do. Yeah,

Clancy Denton  18:08  
yeah. So that was just a little thing that I found, but yes. So here's my Well, yeah, first

Rick Denton  18:15  
day at the office. This is Clancy's first day at the office. The lighting

Clancy Denton  18:19  
is really good in your office, because you have that window right there.

Rick Denton  18:22  
I do have that window and then surely off camera here for my podcast, I've got the ring lights and all that as well. It was fun. You see you. Why don't you talk about this? Because you actually came up with the idea of how I had said, I think we should work together in the office. We'd already decided for you to work inside the business. And I said, I think we do better in the office. We get distracted at home. You can so well,

Clancy Denton  18:46  
yes, because for those of you who know me, or listen, I am a fitness instructor. I work at a gym, so I don't I mean, I wear my workout clothes, no makeup, hair, pulled back every day to work. That's just how it's been for the past 15 years. So I don't, I don't like it. I do. I do like putting myself together, but I don't want to do that on the daily. So we tend to go out on Friday I don't just keep going. We tend to go out on Friday evenings. That's usually our pattern. And so I just said, Okay, I'll come into the office on Fridays afternoon, because then I will be dressed for us to then go out, right? So that's how that and where I'm out and

Rick Denton  19:48  
where I work has several entertainment and dining options that are walkable distance as well, or reasonably closed too. So it was a and when you said that I had this. Wonderful, like urban lifestyle vision of, you know, you leave the office and you go to your restaurant and the walkability, like a New York and that sort of stuff, and, well, it may not always be like that, but I love the idea of we're walking out of the office now. Something social

Clancy Denton  20:14  
side note, yeah, which? No, let's

Rick Denton  20:17  
Okay. Let's see who's saying it first.

Clancy Denton  20:19  
Oh no, I'm talking about what the shoes I wore? Oh, that's what I'm talking about. Okay, so, oh, no, you can talk about how I was ready to be done with work. So I bought when Tanner and I were out shopping about these cute jeans from PacSun. Well, of course, they're made for someone who's like five seven, so yes, I have to wear a taller shoe with them. Again, fitness instructor, I wear tennis shoes every day and and I have a awesome sneaker collection. Your style, you're not a heels girl, you're so and I do like a wedge, but this shoe is a little bit higher and not as supportive. I destroyed my body hurt so bad on Saturday, and all we did was walk from your office to the bar back to your office now into HEB. Was a lot too, but yeah I never again. I was like, I can't wear those

Rick Denton  21:23  
shoes going with the urban style. You need to be like the Working Girl. What was that little tennis shoes in the bag? But

Clancy Denton  21:30  
they wear them, but they wear that stuff to I'm not gonna put on my tennis shoes to go, right? I mean, I do all the time, but I had my outfit on. So anyways, side note, yeah, I can't wear their shoes kind of anymore, yeah, so you would come down there around, I just put another picture in there, but, yeah, it's just another one of us. Oh, good, yes.

Rick Denton  21:50  
Well, you'd come down there at two o'clock and we were jamming out some stuff, but we there's plenty more to do. And what I what I discovered very quickly, I think we probably could do a whole episode several weeks from now, around what is it like to work together as a couple? Because we've said from the beginning, oh no, we're not working together like years ago. We just knew that our marriage works really well. We're not sure how well we work together as co workers. We'll see, but we're doing it, and already in the first day, I realized there were things that I knew I wanted it to be this way, and you suggested an alternate way, and it was so much better. And one of the things that you don't get as an independent consultant a business of one, is that kind of push and pull business phrase, oh, collaboration, yeah, well, but yes, collaboration, but more of a hey, no, this idea, no, no, this idea over here. And you were right, and it reinforced that you're going to bring things to this business that I can do, and you're better at, and so letting go of what I know I can do to allow someone who's better at it to do it instead. Well, I

Clancy Denton  23:07  
think too what you just said the point of we always said, No, I don't think we could work together. I think now is the right time, because I'm not. Yes, you're the dad. You helped raise the children, but I was the mom at home with them all, you know. So I don't have that anymore. So I think now, because there would have just been too much tension and other stuff going on, but I think now that we don't have that focus, I think now is probably the ideal time for us to be able to do something together. So

Rick Denton  23:49  
and we did have our first kind of moment of, I'm going to call it comically disagreement. I was like, All right, well, we got that's great. No, we knocked this part out. Let's sit up, because it was a creative idea. And instead of going to execution and purchase of that creative idea, we wanted to sit on it. And I agree with that's the right choice. There were other things that we could get get done. And you said, What are you talking about? It's four o'clock. I'm done.

Clancy Denton  24:14  
It's four o'clock on a Friday, yeah, I'm done.

Rick Denton  24:18  
It was the funniest first day of work. It's four o'clock. I'm done. So, so we'll have to work on, you know, employee guidelines and expectations. We'll work on your performance appraisal. Okay, however, I did like that. The employee did say, No, it's four o'clock. Let's go and so we did go out. So at least with this employee, it's something that I want to do,

Clancy Denton  24:44  
yeah, and it was funny because we were, oh, talking to tanner on the way there. He had just called us to tell us how his week had gone. And, you know, we. He He was like, Well, what are y'all doing? And we told him. He said, okay, and I had invited him. I said, Do you want to come over Sunday for grilling and everything? He said, Oh, I have like, three fantasy football groups that I have to meet with and so. But then he said, you know, but if y'all want to come down here tonight we can go out and you and I were like, and I did it. I felt it, the mom guilt set in. And so I said, Well, you know, we'll touch base with you after we're done working. And so we got to the place that we were going to have a drink, and I texted him, I said, you know, did you make plans? And he said, Oh, yeah, you know me and Julian and fedela are going to the SMU bars. I was like, okay, good. Because I really, as much as I love Dallas, and yes, I would have gone. I just didn't want to drive down there, and because we'd

Rick Denton  25:55  
done it the week before. And well, you know, this is going to be interesting. This close. Yes, we talked all last year about how great it was BMT nesters, and there was no there was no thought of, oh, let's just BIP over and see our kids in Arizona. You can't do that.

Clancy Denton  26:13  
Yeah, and I think that trying to figure out that balance. And I was telling you last night, you know, I think now again, with timing of starting something new, reinventing ourselves, I needed, I think, a year of being the emptiness, trying to figure out what exactly that meant. And you know now our kids are, you know, sophomore and first year of law school. We're kind of in that phase of last year. It was Tegan was a freshman. She wasn't super happy with her living arrangement. Tanner was a senior. We were trying to help him get through all of senior stuff and applying to law school and all that thing. So I think this year is kind of our huh? We can breathe a little bit more. We don't have so much focus on them. Tegan is

Rick Denton  27:17  
on autopilot at this point, right? And Tanner's maturity level at law school is because it's graduates. It's just different. He's on autopilot too. So our involvement so

Clancy Denton  27:27  
I think it's minimal. I think it's our time to figure out what we want to do next, and we are in the process of doing that so and

Rick Denton  27:35  
we are not just CX passport live, the loud, quiet is growing as well, and we're looking for what that might be, and some areas there as well. So it's really in this podcast space where the energy is and the transformation is, yeah, and so. And I think Netflix is ready to sign this as a series. We'll be ready to eat that deal.

Clancy Denton  27:55  
I I am enjoying it more than I was excited to do it, but I, but I think I really am enjoying it and and like we both, have discovered we're way more creative people than we kind of, I think thought that we were, there's a

Rick Denton  28:18  
lot of Truth to how every let's you, I'll be more broad. Everyone comes out of the womb creative. Think of what kids and the the imaginary friends that they come up with and what they draw. And there's just this freedom of they don't really care. They just create. They just let it explode and what the idea is going to be, and have almost no embarrassment or shame around what that idea, they just do it. And then slowly, through the education system and then through the corporate world, your creativity is just squished to where it is. You think it's non existent. It's just been suppressed for so long, and this has been our opportunity to to free that creativity in a fun way. I'm glad to hear you're enjoying it. I am too. It'd be a big reveal if it's like, oh, we done it for a year. It kind of sucks.

Clancy Denton  29:08  
That's not happening, but, but we did, you know, get we had some fun this weekend. I mean, we had fun Friday too, but last night, we had a lot of fun back out at PGA. It

Rick Denton  29:20  
was, keep talking about that, but it's been a great place to

Clancy Denton  29:22  
be. It's because it's a venue out here and it's free. I mean, Emerald City, if you are a Dallas person, they are a corporation, basically, at this point, that has these bands, you know, different groups that go out and do live events. And they're amazing. I mean, amazing. They bring horns, drums, the singers, everything you

Rick Denton  29:49  
can tell that they are so talented, they are so tight. They rehearse so well. It is a continuous stream of music from the time they start to the first break. And we look. It was an hour, yeah, then they take a break and do another stream of music for 45 minutes,

Clancy Denton  30:03  
and they're just very, I mean, it was a beautiful night again. We've really looked out having nice evenings up there. They're, they're also very interactive with the crowd, if you're looking Yeah. JP, with one of the singers came out, and it happened to be when Aaron and I had gotten up to go to the restroom, we came back and y'all showed us the picture. I was like, oh, man, so,

Rick Denton  30:27  
but that was fun, you know, I wonder if y'all had been there, if he because there was space, so maybe your absence was required for this moment to happen.

Clancy Denton  30:35  
But it was fun. And they just, yeah, play great. There's our group that was there. They just play great music. They're fun everyone. I mean, like I said, again, I've destroyed my body this weekend because the last two songs were blink 182 and the killers. And I was banging my head a little bit too much. I think I woke up this morning's like, did your neck hurt? And you said, Oh yeah, this little stiff.

Rick Denton  31:07  
And you had asked if I had a voice left, because I was scream singing, yeah? One of those kind of vibes. Yeah.

Clancy Denton  31:13  
It was just a fun evening again. One of the reasons we do enjoy living out here, but, and

Rick Denton  31:21  
it wasn't overly planned. It just was in that vein of emptiness, just being able to say yes. So it was fun. What are we doing next weekend?

Clancy Denton  31:33  
Oh, well, that's so the text, because as we were talking, you know, Tanner had made plans and and so I was going back and forth. I said, Okay, I said, Let's plan for next week. And I was like, How about Friday? He said, Oh, the SMU game is Friday. But then I said, Okay, let's plan on Saturday then. And he said, I'll put it in my calendar. He said, My out, my Outlook calendar is jam packed, haha. And said, so busy.

Rick Denton  31:57  
The dude that's Tanner well. And he means that while that's not just social, it is social. It's heavily social. He's using that to balance, and thank goodness he's figured that part out. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of us that need to figure that out. It

Clancy Denton  32:10  
seems like he's fallen into a good group of kids down there, and he is, he's just, he's really, I don't know how many people enjoy law school, but he's really enjoying that's just that's right up his alley, and that's so yeah, would be interesting to see how many people really, are you doing this? Because you

Rick Denton  32:33  
know what the end result will be, right? Because that's or not or and are you getting enjoyment out of this? You're right. Yeah, that percentage would be different.

Clancy Denton  32:42  
Yeah, and Tegan is doing great. She enjoyed all of her first week of classes this week, and so everybody seems to be plugging along right now. We'll see when. I'm sure there will be a bomb dropped at some point. So let's

Rick Denton  32:58  
call it a shoe. The other shoe will drop. Let's go with that.

Clancy Denton  33:04  
So there, there you go. We'll see how this week goes with I was trying to, like, Get Started second day at work.

Rick Denton  33:16  
Yes, we'll see how your second day of work goes. It could provide even more stories for the loud, quiet living the empty nest.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai